I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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