your parents love me but you hate me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
