my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
