The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
