I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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