I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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