WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
