Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
