I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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