Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She announced her abortion via fbk
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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