Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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