Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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