Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize