I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
