before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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