Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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