His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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