you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
