that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
