saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
