the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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