In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My feet surprised me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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