she was so not down for the gang bang
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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