I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
