so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
