my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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