After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
