All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
