Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
