Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
