get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
