i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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