TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
