btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
