Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
