to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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