Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
