the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
