Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
