You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
