and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
