my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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