you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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