Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
