You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize