I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
