At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
