Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
