Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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