my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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