is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize