Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
