I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
