u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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