im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is wine microwaveable?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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