well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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