that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
