Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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