My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
