This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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