Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize