They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
