sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
me + whiskey = a bad person
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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