Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
