Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
