when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
