I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
