im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
