ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
