then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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