I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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