At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
