R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
